Sex, Love, and Breastfeeding

It’s that time of year again. Valentine’s Day. You know the deal – flowers, chocolates,
romantic dinners out with your partner and maybe even… sex!

After having a baby, many couples put their relationship on the back burner, and
focus mainly on being “mom” and “dad”. There’s nothing wrong with that, but we
need to remember what we did before we became parents (and what we did to become parents!). There is a common
saying: “Sex makes little babies and
babies make for little sex.”

So if you are planning night out with your significant other, or just having a
quiet dinner with them after the kids head to bed this Valentine’s Day, here
are a few tips to help it be more fun and less stressful:

1. Make the time!

   Even if it’s a quick back massage
   for your partner, or a quick cup of coffee at the local coffee house, taking
   the time to do something special can make all the difference.

   Sure, a night out in a limo with
   champagne, dinner at a five star restaurant, and dancing sounds great, but it
   isn’t realistic for most parents. Doesn’t a nice back massage sound wonderful, or
   knowing that your special someone went out of their way to do something they
   weren’t “expected” to do?

2. If you do get the chance to get away, try and talk about other things than just the kids.

   You have every day to do that.

3. If you are leaving your baby, plan ahead

   Have some expressed milk on hand for the baby while you’re away, or plan to be out for a short time so you can be
   back home before the next feeding.

4. Go ahead, have a glass of wine.

   Can I do that, I am a
   breastfeeding mother? Yes! You can. In general, if you are sober enough to
   drive, you are sober enough to breastfeed.

5. Now the big question we are all
   thinking and are embarrassed to ask…What about SEX?

   Sex can be a hot button issue for
   many couples. Moms are waking during the night to breastfeed, so most of us are
   sleep deprived. Many of us fall asleep breastfeeding, and wake up breastfeeding.
   So when our partner comes “looking” we feel a bit “touched out”. We need to remember
   the importance of our relationship with each other as much as our relationship
   with our babies.

   Nursing lowers your estrogen
   levels and this decrease can cause vaginal dryness. Having lubrication handy
   will make it a more enjoyable experience.

   OMG… what if my breasts leak
   during sex? Try wearing a nursing bra during sex for the first few months. A
   woman’s milk letdown reflex is a result of increases in oxytocin, the hormone
   associated with warm, loving thoughts. In other words, leaking milk during
   sexual activities is a good sign that you’re enjoying yourself.

   I am not quite ready to have sex…
   how do I tell my partner that? Be honest with them, they will appreciate your
   honesty.  When is the last time you sat
   on the couch and held hands with your partner while watching a movie? Can’t
   remember, huh? Try it! Even that little bit of closeness can re-connect you with
   your partner.

So
go ahead and make those plans…head out to dinner, make your partner a special
dinner or just sit and watch TV and be a couple.

Happy
Valentine’s Day from the BRC!

This blog was written by BRC employee, Louisa Brandenburger, IBCLC